My whole life is changing before my very eyes... I have no ability to turn it around.Only God is in control.But in some ways i feel that God has fallen out of my life,though i know he's still there....I'm longing a love that i can't seem to have as much as i desire it....Just for someone to Care.This should be coming from God.But i don't feel it or see it.Maybe it's not supposed to be felt or seen...I'm not sure anymore....All i know is i need someone by my side,some support,some encouragement.I have no one to rely on in life it seems.I start to rely on ppl that mean alot to me,but you and i both know ppl fail.I guess i have this strong urge to help ppl and be there for ppl know matter what,no matter when.Maybe no one has this passion like i do.Maybe God can only understand this.No one except God understands what i deal with,how i feel,what i want,and what i can't have.Inside i feel empty.I can't explain this unbearable feeling.It's awful... I find comfort in music...without music..idk how I'd live.but somehow even lately its like i cant even connect with god thru music.(I will write more later....i must get ready for 212;the new youthgroup i go to.)
